Dad Pipe #001: Painted Half Bent Billiard Pipe
Acquired From: The Miami-based osteopath of Juan Sebastián Marroquín Santos–AKA Pablo Escobar’s son
Plomo o plata (silver or lead) were the oft-heard threats of narco-super-trafficker Pablo Escobar. ¿Recuérdalo? The King of Cocaine, who was also an exotic animal enthusiast (with a private zoo) long before Netflix made audiences go gaga for gringos in Tiger King. But with El Patron long vanished from the powerful powder trade, and stripped of his good name for good reason, son Juan has adopted a safer “handle,” one more suitable for a career in architecture: Marroquin.
He, it’s said, only looks forward. But he’s not immune from the occasional back problem–quite literally, back problems. So he sees an osteopath. And that’s where we sniffed out the trail.
His Miami-based lumbar-relief queen sold us this hand-painted pipe on Etsy, and we picked it up quicker than the Search Bloc hunting for Don Pablo. Make it yours, for less than the cost of an uncut gram.
Disclaimers: Our lawyer tells us to clearly state that we can not officially confirm (or deny) the pedigree of each pipe. The names, characters or events referenced above came to us second-hand. Just like the pieces themselves. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Or is it? Our lawyer also tells us that we should advise you to give your pipe a good scrubbing before you put some grass in and smoke it. Some are mint. Others are, shall we say, “well-cured.” Instead of stripping away the years of pot patina, we’re selling these treasures just as we found them.
About Dad Pipes: A pair of vintage 501s that fits you like a glove. A framed oil painting with just the right amount of patina. A dusty old LP with some long lost grooves. Back in the day, we used to wake up at the break of dawn, trudge through the flea market and hunt through stacks of junk just to have a chance at uncovering one of these hidden gems. The internet’s made it a bit easier. Now, anyone with enough bucks in their PayPal account can pick up that rare bootleg tee without even getting out of bed. You want a pleather (the original vegan leather, duh) beanbag from Joni Mitchell’s 70s Laurel Canyon crash pad? There’s probably a site for that. And Ebay of course. But for those that want to add a storied smoking apparatus to their quiver (what, you only use fresh glass, man?), there’s been a serious lack of trusted second-hand resources. Until now. Introducing Dad Pipes. A limited and ever-evolving collection of one-of-a-kind vintage smoking devices, lovingly used and recently discovered. Each one has a story (that may or may not be true).
Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It! (A Brief Rumination on The Joys of Burning A Bowl): Believe it or not, there are young people these days that have never had the pleasure of sneaking a little pipe rip at intermission. Some don’t even know what a bong is! (Is this a vase, dad?) With all the high-tech weed smoking apparati that have come out in the past few years, it’s easy to forget that the world’s original method of lighting up is still one of the most enjoyable. We particularly like burning neatly packed bowls of Dad Grass CBD flower and savoring the flavor of fresh greens. It’s actually how we do our R&D. Just flower and a pipe. A bubbler if we’re feelin’ fancy. And now that we’ve got our new tins of Dad Grass Flower in the mix, it’s become an excellent joint-alternative for both quick tokes on-the-go (we like one-hitters and homemade metal pipes for this) and long, contemplative smoke sessions (nothing beats a traditional Sherlock-style tobacco pipe).