Dad Pipe #004: Brass Steamroller Pipe
Acquired From: Lil Wayne’s tax attorney’s psycho-therapist’s son
Young money leads to...young problems. And for tax attorneys, problems can be highly remunerative. But with controversy-courting and frequently court-bound clients like ‘lil Weezy, problems can cascade–like branded dish soap. Or in Mr. Carter’s case, like the super-flex of a Roederer Cristal Brut champagne tower.
According to the internet, where we know everything is true–never scurrilous, scandalous, or patently false–the Louisiana born rapper’s tax specialist sees a psychotherapist. No big. But in violation of privacy clauses everywhere, that therapist’s son unearthed his own father’s emotional support animal–this resplendent brass chamber pipe. He sold it to us, via an auction platform that rhymes with Wee-Bay.
Its gleaming (albeit distant) affiliation to newly-pardoned Weezyana can be yours, for this rock bottom price!
Disclaimers: Our lawyer tells us to clearly state that we can not officially confirm (or deny) the pedigree of each pipe. The names, characters or events referenced above came to us second-hand. Just like the pieces themselves. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Or is it? Our lawyer also tells us that we should advise you to give your pipe a good scrubbing before you put some grass in and smoke it. Some are mint. Others are, shall we say, “well-cured.” Instead of stripping away the years of pot patina, we’re selling these treasures just as we found them.
About Dad Pipes: A pair of vintage 501s that fits you like a glove. A framed oil painting with just the right amount of patina. A dusty old LP with some long lost grooves. Back in the day, we used to wake up at the break of dawn, trudge through the flea market and hunt through stacks of junk just to have a chance at uncovering one of these hidden gems. The internet’s made it a bit easier. Now, anyone with enough bucks in their PayPal account can pick up that rare bootleg tee without even getting out of bed. You want a pleather (the original vegan leather, duh) beanbag from Joni Mitchell’s 70s Laurel Canyon crash pad? There’s probably a site for that. And Ebay of course. But for those that want to add a storied smoking apparatus to their quiver (what, you only use fresh glass, man?), there’s been a serious lack of trusted second-hand resources. Until now. Introducing Dad Pipes. A limited and ever-evolving collection of one-of-a-kind vintage smoking devices, lovingly used and recently discovered. Each one has a story (that may or may not be true).
Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It! (A Brief Rumination on The Joys of Burning A Bowl): Believe it or not, there are young people these days that have never had the pleasure of sneaking a little pipe rip at intermission. Some don’t even know what a bong is! (Is this a vase, dad?) With all the high-tech weed smoking apparati that have come out in the past few years, it’s easy to forget that the world’s original method of lighting up is still one of the most enjoyable. We particularly like burning neatly packed bowls of Dad Grass CBD flower and savoring the flavor of fresh greens. It’s actually how we do our R&D. Just flower and a pipe. A bubbler if we’re feelin’ fancy. And now that we’ve got our new tins of Dad Grass Flower in the mix, it’s become an excellent joint-alternative for both quick tokes on-the-go (we like one-hitters and homemade metal pipes for this) and long, contemplative smoke sessions (nothing beats a traditional Sherlock-style tobacco pipe).